A lot of wedding articles are devoted to Stress Management and Staying Sane while Planning your Wedding. This is a big event, and I can understand that the pressure does get to some people. However, I found that while planning my own wedding people kept asking me how my nerves were, and whether the pressure was getting to me. To say that my nerves were fine and that I didn’t feel any pressure seemed to be the wrong response, but I really enjoyed the planning and had very few moments of anxiety.
Upon reflection, there were a lot of things counting in my favour. Firstly, my fiancé and I weren’t at all interested in tradition or perfection. Right from the beginning we knew our ceremony would be completely authentic and a reflection of who we are; and a lot of traditions didn’t make any sense to us. We threw out what we didn’t like and created our own style. I loved the process and the conversations. Regarding perfection – it is an unobtainable goal and when things didn’t work out the way I wanted, I generally shrugged them off. In fact, being flexible and able to change the plan was probably another reason why I didn’t really get stressed.
My fiancé was very involved in our wedding planning. There wasn’t a single decision made without his input and a lot of the great ideas came from the two of us brainstorming until we got to the right idea. I have heard of brides whose future-husbands weren’t interested in any details, and I can imagine that not having that assistance could be very difficult. Not every man is interested in choosing colours and flowers, so I know in that respect I am very fortunate.
Another advantage I seem to have is my family. Those same questions about my nerves would often precede questions about how I was dealing with my mom. I’m not sure if other brides really have to manage the overbearing mother living vicariously through her daughter, but my mother was wonderful. Like me, she isn’t at all stuck on tradition, so when we explained all our ideas she loved them. My father was another great support. From the beginning he was excited about catching up with family and dancing the night away. He even took some dance lessons with me to prepare for our opening dance.
Finally, I decided long in advance that I would have all the planning done two weeks before the big day. It’s not completely achievable; there are always last minute things to be done; but most of my organising was done in good time. I stuck to a schedule, finalised one big thing each month, and worked on the smaller details continually throughout the year. I accepted help when I needed it and delegated where I could.
So now, two weeks before my wedding, I have a few things to finish off before our beautiful (imperfect) wedding day. Rather than worrying about the flower delivery or the cake, I’d plan to take the time to relax with the man I love and appreciate the wonderful journey we have been on over the past year, and dream about the future we hope to have together.