Recently, in the excitement building up to a friend’s wedding, my girlfriends and I got onto the topic of the bouquet toss. I have always enjoyed this moment in a wedding, but I was surprised to hear that a few of my friends feel this tradition should be thrown out. They felt they were tired of finding themselves next to a 16 year old in the group of “single ladies at the wedding” yet AGAIN!
One of my friends recalled how she was actually the only single woman at a particular wedding, and the bride thought it would be fun to just call her up and personally hand her the bouquet. The guests cheered, but of course for the rest of the night everyone hugged her and told her she would find someone one day. Another friend told how she had attended a wedding a few months after her divorce. The guests at her table pushed her to the dance floor thinking it would make her feel better about being at the wedding alone – it didn’t.
While these situations are uncomfortable for the individuals involved, I’m not sure they are enough of a reason for this fun event to be removed for everyone. These situations were the result of good intentions that were poorly executed. But at most weddings, getting the gals up onto the dancefloor with the right song can really get the party started.
So perhaps the tradition needs to be tweaked and not removed?
One couple I know called all the women up to the dancefloor – single or married. That makes it fun for everyone, and perhaps the married ladies don’t feel like they are excluded from the game because of their marital status.
Another bride attached little note to each stem of the flowers, but left the bunch untied. As she threw the bouquet, the flowers scattered over the dance floor and most of the ladies were able to grab one. There were lots of smiles as they read their messages.
A different idea is to blindfold the bride and spin her around, after which she hands the bouquet to the nearest guest. To add to the excitement, play a fun song, and perhaps have a little ‘teasing’ with clapping guests and an indecisive bride who isn’t sure if she wants to let go of the bouquet.
As with everything on your wedding day, make it special and unique. There are no specific rules that you have to stick to, and people will always remember the moments when you add in your personality.