If you feel like you’re getting cold feet, congratulations! Consider yourself normal. Every married person out there will tell you that at some point in time, they too were hostage to the wedding jitters!
This is a perfectly normal and acceptable reaction when the reality of the massive change that you’re making to your life, finally hits home! Perhaps part of you getting married, means moving to another town, far away from what is familiar to you and the thought of leaving everyone behind, whilst exciting and exhilarating initially, now can be quite daunting.
Those last minute emotional rushes can be overwhelming, even if you are the most level-headed person alive, so don’t be hard on yourself. Accept that this is a very real emotion that will pass and soon you’ll be feeling the exciting anticipation of a new life to come. Just take a few deep breaths and allow yourself a moment of panic and all will be well!
So the jitters can vary in degrees. Crazy thoughts may run through your head like whether or not you made the right choice. Are you ready for this really big change? Can you live up to your fiancé’s expectations of you? What if it all goes wrong? What if you wake up tomorrow and it was all just a dream? Remember that these very same crazy thoughts are rushing through your fiancé’s head too and it’s all okay. Men are generally seen as lacking emotional sensitivity but this isn’t true – it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous and to be concerned about whether or not you can do this. Do not allow yourself to think about the many movies you’ve seen where the groom is left standing by himself at the alter or the groom runs off with his ex-girlfriend leaving you to answer to the guests! This doesn’t happen in real life, at least in my experience, not too often.
Some advice is to try to rationalise your thoughts. So if you’re wondering if this is the right person for you, think back to the time when you first met and decided that this person is going to be your wife/husband. If you’re concerned about whether or not you will be compatible, just remember that no-one is perfect and think about how you get on now – what will make it different? Most couples are already living together and the fact that you will now be married isn’t going to change how either one of you acts towards each other. Be positive and remind yourself that this is the choice that you made because you know deep within your heart that your life will never be the same if you didn’t.
Another idea is to focus on your future and not think too much about the day. Think about your honeymoon and what you will be doing together whilst you’re away. Plan some exciting and interesting excursions for the two of you and let them be a surprise for your new wife/husband.
Think about all the positive things that you and your future spouse have already talked about and started planning for and allow yourself to feel the excitement of this wonderful new life well up inside you.
Then, relax and just enjoy your special day!